Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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