its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Im part way to drunk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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