turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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