saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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