yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
