"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
