Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
