he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
