Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
