He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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