oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
