i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
