i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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