yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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