He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
