CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
