Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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