She said her name was "party"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
