Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
