remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
