Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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