omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
