and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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