You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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