idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
