I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
