how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
