dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
