so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
