So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
