oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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