But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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