I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
