youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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