Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
