The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
