Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Never underestimate the power of titties
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
