We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
