I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
