i don't like sucking hair
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
