There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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