i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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