White coat. Heels.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
