so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
