if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
