but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
