so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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