Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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