Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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