fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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