I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
