i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
