So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
