you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
