He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
