I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
