i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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